Gifted Children: Understanding and Nurturing Their Unique Talents

At Covington Latin, we often get asked about the term gifted and talented. Our child is doing well in their classes and seems to come by it naturally. How do we know if our child is gifted? The answer isn't always clear but by definition, gifted children are individuals who possess exceptional abilities or talents in one or more areas, including academics, creativity, leadership, and athletic skills. They often perform at a level significantly higher than their peers and require specialized educational and social support to reach their full potential. So how do you know if your child might be gifted?

Identifying Gifted Children:

Gifted children may demonstrate their exceptional abilities at an early age and continue to excel throughout their school years. However, not all gifted children are easy to identify, as their talents and abilities can take many forms. Some common characteristics of gifted children include:

• Advanced problem-solving skills

• Early development of language and communication skills

• A wide range of interests and intense curiosity about the world around them

• Advanced reasoning and abstract thinking abilities

• A tendency towards perfectionism and high standards for their own performance.

Nurturing the Talents of Gifted Children:

While gifted children have unique abilities, they also face unique challenges, including feelings of isolation and boredom in traditional classroom environments. To nurture their talents and support their overall development, it is important to provide them with:

• A challenging educational environment that fosters their intellectual and creative growth

• Opportunities to pursue their interests and passions

• Encouragement and support for taking risks and trying new things

• A supportive community of peers and mentors who understand and appreciate their unique abilities

Gifted children are unique and there is not a one size fits all approach to how best to fill their needs. As parents and educators, it is our responsibility to identify and support their talents. By providing them with the appropriate resources and opportunities, we can help them reach their full potential and make meaningful contributions to the world. This support might be in the form of acceleration either by subject or by grade skipping. It could also be by expanding their experiences beyond the classroom through enrichment classes.

In the coming weeks, we will be sharing information about giftedness, the challenges they may face, and the options that are available. Covington Latin School is committed to being a resource for your child at any age.

Now That is Funny

 

Sense of Humor in Gifted Children

One of the lesser-known identifiers for Giftedness is humor. While it may not be one of the biggest indicators like executive dysfunction, hyperfocus, or a large vocabulary, it is something to watch for. Typically, the jokes of children tend to mimic the jokes told by their parents. They may give nonsensical knock-knock jokes or repeat movie phrases to make you laugh. The gifted sense of humor; however, is quite different. 

The keen analytical and observational skills of the average gifted child create a plethora of opportunities for children to expand their thinking. A study published in The Journal for the Education of the Gifted Child states, “The results indicated that the gifted subjects performed significantly higher in spontaneous mirth response and comprehension than the general population group.” (Shade) Overall, gifted children could respond faster and with a more succinct answer than their peers. Because of their ability to react quickly and synthesize situations, gifted children are often seen as witty and as if they have a quip for everything. 

Along the same lines, sarcasm can be seen as a gifted indicator. When I was in one of my orientation meetings for teaching, the leader of the workshop stated emphatically that teachers cannot use sarcasm at all with their students. They worry that it will be interpreted incorrectly by our students. Teaching at a school for gifted and talented students, I’ve found that sarcasm is my personal greatest resource in my classroom. While my classroom is an anomaly, it seems as if it may be indicative of a larger trend in gifted education. 

Another trend in gifted education is disruptive behavior in the classroom. The “class clown” is a common role that students may take on simply because they are bored. In Sandra Manning’s article she explains, “Especially if left unidentified for an extended period, gifted students resort to class clown status out of boredom. This is not the fault of the child who is simply trying to cope with a sometimes torturous situation.” This so-called “tortuous situation” is often cited as the reason that students find themselves unable to focus on the task at hand. Many students with a hard time focusing are just labeled as “problem children” and are treated as such. 

With a focus on the sense of humor, quick wit, and sarcasm of the individual student, educators can more effectively identify gifted and talented students. When students are identified, they are more likely to be challenged in school and enjoy the process of learning, so keep on laughing it up! 

Our January Blog was written by Samantha Darpel, Director of ExploreMore! and teacher at Covington Latin School in Covington, Kentucky.

 

What is Gifted?

If you’re like most parents pondering this question, you’ve likely noticed a few things about your child that seem to be different from what you had expected. Maybe a teacher mentioned some things to you about your child’s classroom behavior. School may be different for your child from what you remember. It may appear that your child has a different perspective on things from you. The other kids in their age group may have a harder time relating to your child. Do any of these things sound familiar? Maybe they are “gifted.” 

There is a misconception that all gifted children are at the top of their class and are the smartest people in the world. The traits of gifted students go well beyond test scores. While that may be true, it’s not the best indicator of whether your child is gifted. There are a few things that may help to identify a gifted child. 

1. They have extreme interests or have an interest in everything. 

Lots of kids love to play with their toys or watch Star Wars movies. The piece of the puzzle that is indicative of giftedness is that these kids are often very focused on their interests. We call this hyperfocus. They will learn absolutely anything and everything they can about a topic. Just as it seems that they have learned everything that exists on their focus, it switches. 

Some topics that research has found that gifted kids often connect with include: dinosaurs, mythology, space, presidents, or a particular sport.

2. They have no idea how to keep organized.

The kids with the messiest rooms are often the kids with so much on their minds that cleaning feels like the last thing that they want to do. It can be like pulling teeth. At the same time, their lockers at school, toys on a shelf, or even their dinner plates are completely spotless. Executive functioning skills run low in a lot of these students because of the rate at which their minds move. The creative mind may find solutions to a lot of problems, but this is one of the most frustrating aspects of their (and their parents’) lives. 

3. They have a keen sense of self-awareness. 

At some point or another in everyone’s lives, they may feel as if they don’t fit in. That feeling normally sets in during middle school. For the gifted child, that feeling happens much, much earlier. While they may not understand why, they just know that the niche they fit into is not with most of their peers. Some kids take this and run with it: creating an air of self-assurance. They know that they are the smartest kid in the room. Other kids end up feeling withdrawn or quiet themselves around peers. 

4. They have ADHD or another learning ABILITY. 

Yes, we call these ABILITIES here at ExploreMore! Gifted. Over half of the students that are considered gifted and talented will also have ADHD, anxiety, nonverbal language disorder (NVLD), a processing issue, etc. This is called twice-exceptionality.

Many times this is because students are able to think so quickly that their emotions or focus cannot catch up. It’s totally normal and nearly expected, that a gifted student would have one of these other disorders or that their behavior mimics other learning disorders. Twice exceptionality brings with it some of its own challenges such as high functioning minds with little ability to perform in school, a restlessness that they cannot explain, disordered thinking and processing skills, extreme hyperfocus, and more. 

5. You feel exhausted. 

Parenting is hard enough. Add on top of that your child that doesn’t stop moving, asking questions, and monologuing about what is interesting to them, and you are left with very few moments of peace. You’re exhausted. That’s okay. The thing to remember is that you are doing great things; gifted kids need special parents that are able to adapt, think analytically, and, most of all, support their children. Remember not to be too hard on yourself because these kids are a reflection of you and your willingness to learn and encourage such a special kid. 

While this is by no means an exhaustive list, if you can identify your child with any of these things, your child could be gifted. Congratulations! While this list is by no means exhaustive, your child may be gifted and needs to be advocated for. Look for programs that will instill a love of learning and that will encourage them to explore. Thank you for all that you do to make their world just a little brighter.

Gifted Characters: You are what you read!

Have you ever read a book that you so completely identified with the character that you could actually picture yourself as him/her?  Ever feel like you could imagine exactly the way they felt or knew why they behaved as they did?  It is important that our gifted kids have characters that they can identify with.  Characters who know how they feel.  Hoagies Gifted Page has some great examples of books that have main characters that are gifted or twice-exceptional.  Here are a few of our favorites that weren't on the list.  

Percy Jackson Series
Book description from Booklist:
Gr. 6-9. The escapades of the Greek gods and heroes get a fresh spin in the first book in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, about a contemporary 12-year-old New Yorker who learns he's a demigod. Perseus, aka Percy Jackson, thinks he has big problems. His father left before he was born, he's been kicked out of six schools in six years, he's dyslexic, and he has ADHD. What a surprise when he finds out that that's only the tip of the iceberg: he vaporizes his pre-algebra teacher, learns his best friend is a satyr, and is almost killed by a minotaur before his mother manages to get him to the safety of Camp Half-Blood--where he discovers that Poseidon is his father. But that's a problem, too. Poseidon has been accused of stealing Zeus' lightning bolt, and unless Percy can return the bolt, humankind is doomed. Riordan's fast-paced adventure is fresh, dangerous, and funny. Percy is an appealing, but reluctant hero, the modernized gods are hilarious, and the parallels to Harry Potter are frequent and obvious. Because Riordan is faithful to the original myths, librarians should be prepared for a rush of readers wanting the classic stories.
Why we love it:
The author, Rick Riordan, is a teacher who has had experience teaching children who have learning differences.  It became real to him when his son was being tested for ADHD and Dyslexia.  He wrote this series in honor of his son's gifts and all those whose potential is sometimes hidden behind learning disabilities. We also love it because kids become immersed in mythology and tend to read everything they can get their hands on regarding these ancient stories.


Harry Potter Series
Book description from Booklist
Gr. 4-7. Orphaned in infancy, Harry Potter is raised by reluctant parents, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, an odious couple who would be right at home in a Roald Dahl novel. Things go from awful to hideous for Harry until, with the approach of his eleventh birthday, mysterious letters begin arriving addressed to him! His aunt and uncle manage to intercept these until a giant named Hagrid delivers one in person, and to his astonishment, Harry learns that he is a wizard and has been accepted (without even applying) as a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There's even more startling news: it turns out that his parents were killed by an evil wizard so powerful that everyone is afraid to so much as utter his name, Voldemort. Somehow, though, Harry survived Voldemort's attempt to kill him, too, though it has left him with a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead and enormous celebrity in the world of magic, because Voldemort vanished following his failure. But is he gone for good? What is hidden on the third floor of Hogwarts Castle? And who is the Man with Two Faces? Rowling's first novel, which has won numerous prizes in England, is a brilliantly imagined and beautifully written fantasy that incorporates elements of traditional British school stories without once violating the magical underpinnings of the plot. In fact, Rowling's wonderful ability to put a fantastic spin on sports, student rivalry, and eccentric faculty contributes to the humor, charm, and, well, delight of her utterly captivating story. 

Why we love it:
Harry wasn't understood by his family and was always depressed until he found out that he was indeed special and had gifts that no one else had.  He then had the opportunity to attend a school that valued his gifts and he could live up to his potential.  You can also see Harry develop his powers through hard work.  Talent development isn't always easy.

Matilda
Review from Publisher's Weekly
Grade 4-6 Matilda is an extraordinarily gifted four-year-old whose parents are crass, dishonest used-car dealer and a self-centered, blowsy bingo addict regard her as "nothing more than a scab." Life with her beastly parents is bearable only because Matilda teaches herself to read, finds the public library, and discovers literature. Also, Matilda loves using her lively intelligence to perpetrate daring acts of revenge on her father. This pastime she further develops when she enrolls in Crunchem Hall Primary School, whose headmistress, Miss Trunchbull, is "a fierce tyrannical monster . . . ." Adults may cringe at Dahl's excesses in describing the cruel Miss Trunchbull, as well as his reliance on overextended characterization at the expense of plot development. Children, however, with their keenly developed sense of justice, will relish the absolutes of stupidity, greed, evil and might versus intelligence, courage and goodness. They also will sail happily through the contrived, implausible ending. Dahl's phenomenal popularity among children speaks for his breathless storytelling charms; his fans won't be disappointed by Matilda. Blake's droll pen-and-ink sketches extend the exaggerated humor.  

Why we love it:
How can anyone not love Dahl!  His descriptions are vivid and allow the reader to immerse themselves into Matilda's life.  Beyond that, we love that Matilda loves to read and has a teacher that she adores and helps her see her talents for what they are.


The Mysterious Benedict Society
Book description from Amazon:
"Are you a gifted child looking for special opportunities?"
When this peculiar ad appears in the newspaper, dozens of children enroll to take a series of mysterious, mind-bending tests. (And you, dear reader, can test your wits right alongside them.) But in the end just four very special children will succeed. Their challenge: to go on a secret mission that only the most intelligent and resourceful children could complete. To accomplish it they will have to go undercover at the Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened, where the only rule is that there are no rules.
As our heroes face physical and mental trials beyond their wildest imaginations, they have no choice but to turn to each other for support. But with their newfound friendship at stake, will they be able to pass the most important test of all?
Welcome to the Mysterious Benedict Society.
Why we love it:
This series is full of twists and turns and will keep the kids engaged!  The characters in this story have to think out of the box to solve the mystery.  This book encourages the reader to do the same and stretch their imagination.  

The Alchemist- The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel
Description from Publisher's Weekly
Grades 6 and up. Twin 15-year-old siblings Sophie and Josh Newman take summer jobs in San Francisco across the street from one another: she at a coffee shop, he at a bookstore owned by Nick and Perry Fleming. In the very first chapter, armed goons garbed in black with "dead-looking skin and... marble eyes" (actually Golems) storm the bookshop, take Perry hostage and swipe a rare Book (but not before Josh snatches its two most important pages). The stolen volume is the Codex, an ancient text of magical wisdom. Nick Fleming is really Nicholas Flamel, the 14th-century alchemist who could turn base metal into gold, and make a potion that ensures immortality. Sophie and Josh learn that they are mentioned in the Codex's prophecies: "The two that are one will come either to save or to destroy the world." Mayhem ensues, as Irish author Scott draws on a wide knowledge of world mythology to stage a battle between the Dark Elders and their hired gun—Dr. John Dee—against the forces of good, led by Flamel and the twins (Sophie's powers are "awakened" by the goddess Hekate, who'd been living in an elaborate treehouse north of San Francisco). Not only do they need the Codex back to stop Dee and company, but the immortality potion must be brewed afresh every month. Time is running out, literally, for the Flamels. Proceeding at a breakneck pace, and populated by the likes of werewolves and vampires, the novel ends on a precipice, presumably to be picked up in volume two.

Why we love it:
Like the other series that we have reviewed, this story follows the same formula:  kids with hidden talents that will go on to save the world.  It also introduces kids to mythology and historical characters that they can then delve more into. 

Share with us what books your kids love to read.  We are always looking for something great to read!

 

The Superpower of Hyperfocus

As a teacher, the beginning of the new year brings fresh school supplies and organization.  As the Director of ExploreMore!, Covington Latin School’s enrichment program for gifted and talented students, I recently found myself going through our ExploreMore! storage so that we may start our next session off fresh. Upon finishing the summer camp, we end up with boxes of discarded materials like pipe cleaners, cardboard boxes, and household science materials. The chaos of neurodivergent organization can no longer be ignored. I, like many of our explorers, have boxes and boxes of old interests and hobbies. ExploreMore! storage is no exception. Our offerings of diverse classes for the Gifted and Talented community in our area lead to quite the eclectic grouping of materials. 

First, I stumbled upon old sewing patterns, denim, and knitting needles: the official storage of Fashion and Design. Another box contained Indiana Jones-style artifacts and sand: Dino-dig’s remnants. The third box of the day contained beakers, lab coats, and enough borax to do laundry for a year. That could be from any number of classes. 

All of these classes were requested by our students. Most of our classes are. These seemingly bottomless boxes contain the hobbies of ExploreMore! past that have long been forgotten. The stacks of stored interests reminded me of just how quickly trends can change. What is even more striking is how intensely our kids care for their interests, as if they had created Minecraft or Harry Potter themselves. These interests become more. They are all-consuming. Our obsession means we learn EVERYTHING about it. We leave no stone unturned. 

Originally, this behavior may seem endearing. Many parents find that it makes holiday shopping a bit easier. Grandparents know exactly how to talk to their grandchildren. If you want to know anything about the presidents, they have an answer and a ten-minute monologue prepared. But it seems as if as soon as you’ve gotten used to hearing about which of our founding fathers had the most cats (Explorer, John, tells me that it is Washington), the interest shifts. Now the cycle has started all over again. You’re left with $400 in merchandise and a case of whiplash. 

This occurrence is known as hyperfocus and is most common in neurodivergent populations. While many may see this as an intellectual superpower, it can be frustrating to parents, teachers, and even the kids. 

Last year, I had a student say, “Ms. Darpel, I love history, but I don’t love what we are studying in class. Can we learn more about the fashion of Ancient Rome?” As someone who has often felt this way, I knew I needed to allow him to explore that option. Our Gifted superheroes throughout the classroom can now pick one aspect of the unit and become expert on it. They then present these topics to the class. Not only are they gaining confidence through their exploration of their passion, but they are also gaining public speaking skills. 

Not everyone has the ability to adopt this method. So how can you implement and engage with your hyper-focused kid at home? 

One way to make your child feel special while also connected with the family is to have theme nights. Give your child a budget for supplies, a list of ingredients, or other parameters so that they can create a night for the whole family. Not only will they get to share their passion with the family, but they will learn valuable money, social, and practical skills. 

Another option to control hyperfocus is to set a timer. I do this in many of my own relationships. Often I will say, “Give me ten minutes to talk to you about the craft I made. Then I will turn it off.” Not only does this make me more cognizant of my own focus, but it is a good cue for others around me. The same can work for your child. Give them ten minutes on their activity then twenty minutes of homework or chores. When this method is first implemented, it can seem daunting, but eventually, it will become a lifelong habit that they are sure to thank you for. 

Finally, and possibly the simplest implementation is setting a timer or alarm. The minute that blaring noise is heard, the synapses in the brain snap to attention. Your child will be pulled out of the trance they’ve been in. Within those few minutes, your child could have traveled to the Jurassic period and learned about thirteen new plant species while the world around her completely faded away. That buzzer is her signal that it is time to get back to algebra. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best solutions. 

Creating consistent and meaningful plans for the control and management of hyperfocus will allow your Gifted and Talented children to flourish. If, and when, we look at hyperfocus as yet another superpower of our children, they will find that they are capable of much more because they are able to remain on task. Look not at what they are missing through hyper-focusing, but look at what they are able to achieve and overcome because of it. 

About the Author: 

Samantha Darpel is the Executive Director of ExploreMore! Gifted. She has been with the program for six years as a teacher, Assistant Director, and Executive Director. Samantha is working toward a Gifted and Talented endorsement to add to her Masters of Middle School and Secondary Education from the University of the Cumberlands. She has also been teaching the gifted and talented community for six years. 

Executive Functioning- The Struggle is Real!

Confucius said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.  That is all well and good, but for someone who struggles with Executive Functioning, even that first step can seem like a thousand miles. The technical definition of Executive Functioning (EF) is, "the cognitive processes that help us regulate, control and manage our thoughts and actions." It includes planning, working memory, attention, problem solving, verbal reasoning, cognitive flexibility, initiation of actions and monitoring of actions. A person with excellent EF skills will not have problems creating a plan, organizing, sticking to it and shifting gears, if necessary. Those who lack EF skills will certainly have trouble when they enter school especially when they get older and need to become more independent. Projects can seem overwhelming. There is so much work to be done, and yet, they don't seem to know where to begin. Once they do begin, they can struggle to keep on task, stay organized and be able to adjust and change directions. The struggle for them is real.

Even the brightest of kids can struggle with this because it is no way connected to ability or intellect. It is not an innate ability. It must be taught and developed. Even at a very young age (as early as toddler years), children can be taught the necessary skills to have excellent EF skills later in life.  Games as simple as peek-a-boo and hide and go seek use working memory, attention span, and concentration. These are your building blocks. They teach focus and problem solving.  As the child grows older, they will benefit from participating in sports, doing chores, playing strategy games and playing a musical instrument.

Because it is a learned and acquired skill, students who struggle with EF skills can get on track with strategies that make sense to them.  The caveat is that it is not a one size fits all approach. From my years in education, I know that kids learn differently, and what works for one won't work for all. My advice is to first figure out what kind of learning style the student has.  Is he or she a visual learner? Auditory learner? Kinesthetic learner?  All of these influences can affect which strategy you employ.  

For visual learners, I am a huge proponent of project boards, sticky notes, and paper or electronic calendars.  The more color coding the better.   For visual students, I recommend color coordinating their books, notebooks, and folders. Visually, they will be able to grab what they need based on subject. I, personally, am a visual learner.  I have a huge whiteboard with sticky notes and different colored markers for different projects I am working on.  This is how I operate and organize.  It makes sense in my brain.

Auditory learners organize things quite differently.  Those kids benefit from setting alarms on phones or timers to keep them on track. Noise reduction headphones or conversely, music can help tune distractions out that will cause concentration issues. It can also be helpful to leave voice reminders for themselves on their phones.  You will often hear these kiddos talking to themselves to remind them of the steps needed to do a task.  My son did this while learning to drive.  He gave himself directions on how to parallel park. It was funny and slightly disconcerting at the same time.

The kinesthetic learner will benefit from scratching things off their lists.  This gives them a sense of accomplishment and keeps them on track.  They can also benefit from moving around while doing a task. Pacing is a normal thing while working on a project or studying. It keeps them focused. Another thing I have found that helps an active kid stay on task is an organization app.  Habitica is an app that works like a video game awarding kids with gold coins for completing a task.  For every task they complete, they check it off their list and earn rewards. They can also compete against their friends to earn points. Wunderlist is another app that allows kids to compete against their friends to check things off their to do lists.  It is a great way to motivate kids that need some movement.  These apps will also help students who are social learners and like to work with others to accomplish a goal.

These are just some of the strategies that I use while working with students with Executive Functioning deficits.  The good news is that these are skills that can be developed at any time so they do not have to struggle. Look for future posts regarding specific ways to engage students based on learning styles.

Blog post by Amy Darpel, former teacher and educational consultant, Director of ExploreMore Enrichment
Program.

We are proud to be participating in this month's Blog Hop on Hoagie's Gifted Page.

'Tis the Season for Overexcitabilities

It starts right after the back-to-school sales end; stores ramp up for the holidays.  It begins with Halloween candy tempting us at every turn, scary masks, and haunted houses.  Then it turns quickly to Thanksgiving where we over indulge in food, friends and family come from out of town and table manners should rival Emily Post.  Let's be real, Christmas decorations really start going up amidst the masks and turkeys in the stores.  How is a child supposed to keep it together?  Add giftedness to the equation and it is a recipe for disaster that rivals Aunt Emma's fruitcake!

We've all been there.  We take our bright little darlings in their finest Christmas sweater to meet Santa and all of a sudden the meltdown of all meltdowns occur in the middle of the mall. Before you think that your child will be permanently placed on Santa's naughty list, let's break down what is happening from their perspective. The sweaters are itchy and scratchy and likely, super hot.  Santa, while a jolly old elf, can be a bit intimidating.  I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas is blaring from the store speakers. The crowds are insane- pushing and shoving and tall.  And to top it all off, there are TOYS everywhere. Who is surprised that our precocious bundles of Christmas joy turn into melted piles of goo on top of the fake, fluffy snow?

The good news is that your child isn't being naughty at all.  Your child is experiencing emotional overexcitability.   Gifted children are especially prone to EO. Dr. Susan Daniels and Dr. Kazimierz Dobrowski describe EO as a heightened and sometimes uncontrollable ability and to respond to stimuli.  It can be in many forms:  psychomotor, emotional, sensual, intellectual and imaginational.  

It's not surprising that this time of year lends itself to EO meltdowns. So what can we do to keep our kids off the perceived naughty list?  

First, understand what is happening.  We, as parents, need to be one step ahead of EO.  Recognize that so much stimuli can cause even the most controlled child to lose it occasionally. We need to pay attention to the stimuli that can trigger their EO and try to minimalize it as much as possible. 

Here are some suggestions and intervention strategies:

1. Understand what is controllable and uncontrollable.  You may not be able to control the amount of toys on display at Target but you can control how many times they are exposed to them.  Solo shopping may be best.  It's hard to curb the bad case of the "I want's" if they are cruising the aisles. Children have heightened imaginations at this time and they can visualize quite intensely how a toy room stocked to the brim with action figures will look like.  If you can't avoid shopping, this might be a good time to balance this with some crafts.  Since their imaginations are on full tilt, what better time to engage them in some artistic outlet.  

2. With winter comes more indoor play and less exercise.  Children have pent up energy and need to be able to release it especially if they are expected to be on their best behavior at Aunt Edna's.  Plan ahead and schedule some outdoor time taking a walk, or if the weather isn't cooperating, at an indoor recreation space.  Running around and getting the wiggles out releases endorphins and will  help calm them.  

3. If you still have an emotional breakdown on your hands, don't panic.  Stay calm.  Acknowledge what your child is feeling.  This is a good time to mirror what they say so they know you are hearing them.  This is not a good time for an argument or fight.  Their brains aren't development enough for rational thoughts during a meltdown.  The best thing to do is remove them from the situation if possible, stay calm, and let it run its course.  Later, when things are calm, you can then address the behavior not only to let them know that it may not have been the best option but to understand from their perspective what caused the meltdown in the first place.  

And just remember, it's the most wonderful time of the year.....

Happy Holidays everyone!